Paris Hilton’s Vagina



Killer whales aren’t whales.

They’re actually dolphins.

All dolphins are whales.


Wiki teaches this.

Google will tell you this, too.

And it’s true, I swear.


How can I be sure?

Paris Hilton’s Vagina.

Just ask Chicago.

Continue reading “Paris Hilton’s Vagina”


Is writing storytelling?|Shop Talk


Whether I’m writing fiction, a class essay, or an article for publication, I find the first draft to be the most difficult. Not because I’m far from finishing, but because I don’t yet know the story I’m about to tell.  Sure, I can add words, construct a narrative, edit a line here and there, but until it’s done, I don’t know the story. But that’s when the fun begins. When I’m done, and have finally heard the story for the first time, I get to revisit it from the beginning and finish molding it into what it needs to be–not what I imagined it to be. These two concepts are not necessarily one in the same, and for good reason. Let me explain.

Continue reading “Is writing storytelling?|Shop Talk”

New fiction update

Earlier this week, I promised myself I would post some fiction today. But an early morning trip to the local emergency room forced me to rewrite my Friday plans. Turns out it’s nothing serious, but I won’t be able to follow through on my promise just yet. After I get some rest, the new fiction piece will be posted. On the plus side, this experience has left me with more grist for the mill. I’ll catch you all soon enough.

BREAKING: Facebook & procrastination yield productivity.

Procrastination image

Earlier today, I read the short story “Hair” by the late Joan Aiken, on my way through The Year’s Best Dark Fantasy and Horror: 2012. Admittedly, I decided to stay in bed and read, instead of come up with material for this blog. Like it reads in the About section of this site, world-class procrastinator. Anyway, I’ve been picking away at this anthology for the past few weeks, and I’m noticing a disturbing trend: disappointment.

It’s not that “Hair” is a bad short story. In fact, I rather liked its imagery, and some of the language is quite beautiful. The story is also quite short; it could even be considered flash fiction. The problem, though, lies in the choices of short stories. I haven’t come across anything I would consider dark, fantastical, or horrific. Certainly not the year’s best, by any means. But it’s made me think about what I’m not reading in this collection. If I’m reading dark fantasy and horror, I want to experience dark fantasy and horror.

Tired of being led on, I did what most people do when they’re, well, when they’re awake, really. I visited Facebook–I know, I know, I’m ashamed to admit it. Scrolling through the trash (read: home page), I zipped by director Kevin Smith’s recent activity. As I scrolled, I recalled what he said years ago about making movies. How when he started out, he wanted to make movies for himself and his friends, so they could watch the movies that appealed to them. Whoa. Why not just write what I’m not seeing in this anthology?

Everything came together in that moment. I figured I could start banging away at some dark fantasy and horror short stories. Better yet, I can even use it as fodder for my site. Hot damn, I’m solving all sorts of problems.

As of now, I’m thinking of releasing some regularly scheduled flash fiction, as well as the bad poetry I’m so fond of creating. Mix in some regular blog posts, such as this gem, and I’ll be good to go. Fear not, though, faithful reader, I won’t take up all your time with writing and fiction reviews; I plan on talking leisure activities outside of the written word.

So there you have it. A true account of how Facebook increased activity–if only for a day.



Third time’s the charm, right?

Two years ago I started this blank slate blog, only to abandon it to the abyssal void known as the Internet. Well, after two failed attempts to rouse my creativity and commitment, I’m ringing the bell for round three with my old nemesis: procrastination.

In short, this site will showcase some of my thoughts and reflections on a myriad of topics, as well as some original works of fiction and some poorly written poetry. If you’re on twitter and want to be mildly entertained or annoyed, shoot your cursor to the right of your screen and click on the follow button. Of course, your feedback and criticism are always welcome, I just ask that you stay relatively on topic and don’t be a dick.

On Writing


I write crappy poetry–

a lot of crappy poetry.

I use repetitive language,

wax superfluously,

and jot in a method archaic.


But not always.

At times it’s stream of consciousness filling a line ’til my words have gone too



I write to write,

for the sake of writing.

I write to the right,

forever chasing a blinking cursor. |

I write for rights

of speech and expression.

I’m alright with writing

assignments on deadline

though they tend to get pushed



Once in a while,

I’ll scribble down a story,

scrap it for trash

and not feel worried,

because it lives inside,

in my heart and in my mind,

while it mingles with thoughts

I thought I’d never find.

I think of myself as a writer

Am I a writer?

I’m doing a good job writing

As for being a writer,

I’m doing just fine.